Happy Valentine's Day

Does it get more romantic than working on your taxes all day on the computer? I think not! I am doing them myself for the first time in years and using Turbo Tax. After going through everything and spending over an hour getting some of the basic easy information in, I lost it all! Talk about going crazy! Well, I am way to obessive to not get back to that point, so I started over! My eyes are buggy! Anyway, to have a good portion of that project does feels great!

Yesterday we had a Valentine's party with a homeschool group that we have found and we had a pretty good time. It was pretty chaotic, so the boys did great considering. They really tried hard to participate but didn't feel comfortable playing some of the games. I know as they meet other kids it will get easier, but they said they had a great time and they came home with a bag full of goodies...so that is what matters!

Well, I'm off to sit with my husband and see my kids and get my eyes off of this computer!

One Lone Entry

Today, I will forget the things that I was going to post in my grateful journal...things like getting Dish Network to reduce my bill after all and getting my shopping at Costco done between the periods of rain. I will leave off the gratitude I felt unloading all those groceries that will feed our family and the abundance we are so blessed with. I will leave off being grateful for the 30 minutes my boys spent jumping off the couch and targeting cushions farther and farther away with no injuries. I will leave off that my dog is finally not scratching after being on steriods for a week. Today, I am going to be raw and post the absolute truth.

Today, I'm grateful I'm not Abby King.

I hate myself for saying it, but it is so true it stings. I got an e-mail from a member of the church we have been attending that led me to a site with an update from her that broke my heart. Abby has been leading the bible study that I have been attending and Darian is in Sunday school with Connor. Today she wrote this entry....

It is with a heavy heart that I give you the most recent news...It has been confirmed with an xray and CT scan that Darian's cancer is back. One of Darian's lungs has a large mass on it, and it is leaking fluid. The other lung has 4-5 large masses on it and several little ones.Tomorrow (Friday) Darian will be sedated and go in for a Bone Scan to see all the places where the Cancer has spread. After we see all the places the cancer has spread we will decide what to do from there. During sedation they will also drain the fluid from his lungs and biopsy it.If the surgeons can operate on Darians lungs it would be very dangerous, and very risky...but more than likely they will be unable to operate. We will more than likely start on Comfort measures only tomorrow after the bone scan.Darian will more than likely have 1-3 months with us. Probably leaning toward the 1 month. I know this is very shocking to most of you. We are taking things one day at a time. I want you all to know that during this time, none of us can do anything wrong. Please know that we all sort this information and feel this information differently. No way is right or wrong. Just please know that you can approach me and talk to me.We serve a great God. I am amazed at the care we have received at Legacy, and the amount of love they have shown us. They couldn't have done a better job. Secondly, thank you for all your support during this journey. God has a plan for each of us, and I am so glad that I get the opportunity to help raise Darian and be his mommy.Your prayers are greatly appreciated, and I will keep you updated on how darian is doing.

I spent over an hour going through her online journal documenting this incredible journey that started just a year ago. Darian has been through chemo treatments and even partial amputation of one of his legs. She writes some amazing things and her faith is so solid! While my heart literally hurts for her and my eyes stream with tears for someone I hardly know, I can't help but be amazed at God's goodness and grateful for the glimpse she has shown me. I guess I can't help being grateful after all. I am grateful that she has found comfort in the arms of an all knowing and loving God. I'm amazed that anyone could survive that amount of pain without God. I couldn't answer tonight when Connor asked me why Darian got cancer, but I confidently told him that God is good and we can bank on that promise. We can pray. Tonight I hugged my boys a little longer and a little tighter and we prayed together for Darian and his family.

Nothing Like the Real Thing

If you read my post from Superbowl Sunday, you would know that real hamburgers were served in this house for a special meal. What you might not know, that this is the first time in YEARS that real hamburger meat has been purchased. We switched everything to ground turkey cutting back on fat and cholesterol in just about everything. I have to say that overall I am much happier with the taste of ground turkey in almost everything I make...tacos, spaghetti, meatloaf, chili..you name it and I've been fine. However tonight I made Beef Stroganoff with some of that hamburger meat that I cooked and froze up for something special and let me tell you, it was umm..umm...good! (Now it could have something to do with the fruit fast that I was on today, but not entirely:) That is one thing I have realized that should accept no substitution!

Also, tonight I went to meeting for homeschool moms and when I got home and went in to kiss the boys who were already sound asleep, I walked in to this most beautiful kodak moment..I wish my camera took better night pictures!

If you know me, you know that I have a 5 year old that is on his 3rd year of "sheep obsession." He just loves them and it all started with the sheep you see here...affectionately known as "the original sheep" or Sheepie! As I looked around his bed at the remaining flock with a few monkeys thrown in, I realize again that there is nothing like the real thing.

He loves and cares for all his sheep, and has named every one of them. Every morning a different one gets to come to breakfast and watch him eat, but if the house was on fire, he would grab Sheepie. He needs Sheepie when he gets hurt, and nothing else can comfort him when he is crying. He can't go to sleep without Sheepie and there is no real substitute. I hope and pray that he knows, that he too is a true original made perfect and special designed for a special purpose!

Remember the Reward

Two more churchs down...

A couple of questions...a couple of themes.

I am noticing that over and over again I have written down..."Remember the Reward". As you move through these letters in Revelation to these 7 churchs, one way to process a lot of it is to keep the end in mind and to remember the reward of heaven. We are told to perserve through trials, not be swayed by tempations that aren't good for us, to hold fast to the truth, and remain loyal even when it might not be popular.

I have been thinking a lot about a question asked that I am ready to answer. What have you been procrastinating for God?

At first I thought nothing honestly then about 7 hours later..it hit me. I struggle with obedience if it causes me any form of discomfort. I realize this is really big when it comes to food. I have struggles with fasting. I truly feel God calling me to this, but realize I have a hard time telling myself no and am absolutely embarrased at the things I will come up to justify myself not going without or feeling the slightest hunger pain. Bryan, my friend Beth's husband has a good point..."to fast without praying is just starving yourself." Right now that is what I do on days I try, but I know God is using it to grow me and get my attention.

I have been contemplating participating in lent this year and this has been made so clear to me as I try hard to come with something that I won't miss to much if I pick a food. Pretty sad huh? Today, I am grateful for God's mercy and patience with me.

Things I've done to save money recently

I was thinking back about the past couple of weeks and some of the ways I am working to save money. As a stay at home mom, I feel it is part of my job description and something that has to be done to make it on one income with 2 kids!

1) I colored my own hair

2) I ate leftovers even when I didn't feel like it

3) I bagged my own groceries

4) I shredded my own cheese

5) I waited at the vet an extra hour for the office call rate vs. the appointment rate ($10 cheaper)

6) I bought things in bulk and spent the extra time to divide it all up

7) I bought used curriculum on the internet

8) I sold used curriculum on the internet

9) I skipped eating out even when I really wanted to drive through to make it easy and yummy!

10) I got gas at Shell because I am working to earn a rebate that hopefully will pay off if they ever follow through (long story)

11) I am preparing to do our own taxes this year

12) I skipped buying the refill cartridges and went back to the real things because I realized it wasn't cheaper the way I went through them

13) I went to the library instead of the bookstore

14) I turned down the heat

15) For free entertainment I sent Bryan and the boys to The Home Depot kids workshop this morning. They do a really good job, the boys love it and it doesn't cost a thing! Plus they are so proud of their projects and love the time with daddy! If you have young kids you should really check it out!

I'm so proud of my husband, for remembering the picture for me!

The Beloved Box

I have to say that I am not a big fan of shopping. I know it not typical with me being a girl and all, but I just don't like it. It seems that whenever I have the money and go to buy something I can never find it, and when it is not in the budget....BOOM there it is. So, I am not a big fan. One of my favorite things to shop for however is home school curriculum. I think most fellow home school moms are addicted or become addicted. It quickly becomes a passion to see what it out there and trying to find the best thing for your child to learn and love.

I decided recently that one way I could save money is to try and buy some things used. Well, let me tell you...I am not real good at it. Maybe because I don't have the true shopping gene, I don't know. Every time I saw what I wanted, it seemed I couldn't get it at the price I wanted or someone had beat me to it by 30 minutes, or it was the wrong edition. I realized after a good week on the internet that I can't do it for things I need now or real soon, that is way to stressful! I have to be more prepared and keep my eye on the next good bargain. Now, having said that I did end up finding a few things at good prices, just not items I need to start the 2nd semester with.

So, today...it showed up. My beloved box from Sonlight! I have to say I get a little giddy opening up and going through everything...it is a sickness I tell you. The whole world stopped while I eagerly put together our new history schedule and lined all the new books up so they are ready for the next few months of school! It is just so exciting. Now that I think about it, I should of scheduled a teacher prep day instead....but then I would of had to wait and that just can't happen! I am so impressed with Sonlight and excited by the books we will be diving into on Monday morning.

I told Bryan, that I will focus on selling it when I am done and save the money by getting some back! It is amazing how this stuff holds it retail value! I already sold two things that I finished with and was so excited. I also am going to try and get all of our read alouds from the library and hopefully I can work out the timing!

I just can't wait....I hope Connor and Brody are just as excited!

Big Burger Day!

I have say that tonight trumps a lot of news and happenings around here at the Doeren household. Would you believe that Connor at the age of 7 has NEVER eaten a hamburger! I have made turkey burgers a few times and recently have been making him eat some, but he has not enjoyed it and has never had any of kind of hamburger or cheeseburger from anywhere. Well, Bryan told the boys that he makes really good burgers, which he does and he has been wanting me to buy ground beef for a while as a treat. So, we put it on the Superbowl menu along with their favorite potato chips and even a Sprite....just a night full of goodies. Connor decided that he was ready to try a real burger on a bun with pickle and everything! He has been building himself up all day counting down the time and not eating to much so he was ready! It was really quite cute! Brody has enjoyed both a Burger King and a McDonalds cheeseburger in the past but too has never had one made at home. He was not to interested and tried to get us to drive through instead!

But we moved forward as planned and I am happy to report that they BOTH liked them! I have to say I couldn't beleive my eyes and am grateful for cameras that capture moments like these....

It was real history in the making!

Now for the Superbowl, we were all going for the Arizona Cardinals, but it was a great game and that was a lot of fun too! Now, we have to see if Connor can survive the off season!