Sacrifice....such a dirty word!

Sacrifice....not something normal people want to think about.  Sounds awful, not fun, and don't sign me up for that.

Today in a sermon, I heard it is a synonym for worship.  That sounds better.

I became involved in Lent a few years ago when my best friend challenged me to think about it.  Her husband was raised Catholic and as Protestants they both participate each and every year and I found it fascinating.  Since then, I have accepted the challenge, but with small commitments that I felt I could live with.  Truly, self-control and sacrifice have not ever a part of that.

This year I felt God really speaking to me to use this time....really.  I started researching and searching for what God wants for me, where He wants me to grow and what I am supposed to do this 40 days.  If I am totally honest, I literally had a list trying to narrow down what would be the least painful ways for me to walk this 40 day journey until Easter.  Not quite the point.

Some scribbles from my notebook...

Fasting...Through eating less we feel some of the hunger He feels for souls
Grasp dependence for our VERY existence
Remove attachments to things of this world
What habits are destructive to my spiritual health?


Praying...something to bring me closer to God
To what do I devote too much or not enough of my time?

Giving....Thinking of others less fortunate

"Even the smallest act of self-denial has value in the eyes of God"

As it came down to the day before, I knew what God wanted me to do, but saying it out loud was not something I wanted to admit. 

I have literally struggled with the concept of food fasting for years!  I remember borrowing books from my friend Beth in California and seeking advice from anyone that would talk about it and researching online.  I clearly felt God wanting me to do this and I had some very small success stories, but many more failures.  I put it out of my mind.  Every year for Lent, I have fasted "things" not food.  This year God wants more.  The thing I feel I can't ever give up is exactly what I need to give up.  What has control of me?  Where do I loose my self control? 

I knew I needed the fasting part of Lent for me to be around food now.  So, I started another list...

Coffee...just started back after 11 years, way too soon
Chocolate....maybe, plenty of other desserts to eat like vanilla ice cream
A whole meal....What?  Give up a meal?  Crazy...I need 3 a day
Snacks...maybe
Broccoli...I could do that
Gluten....annoying, but very doable these days:)

When I look at my list, I realized it HAS to be the one I didn't think possible.  I decided on a whole meal.  (without changing the timing, that would be too easy)  I knew right away it had to be lunch...my favorite.  I tried to convince myself that breakfast would mean the same sacrifice, but my heart knows it is not true.  I could easily give up breakfast.  Lunch however, I really love.  I think about it a lot.  When I am cooking dinner, I usually try to have a good amount leftover so I can have a hot lunch. I spend extra on ready meals I like and plan my lunch with as much details as I plan dinner.  I love to go out to lunch the most. 

Lunch it is. 

Can I do it?  I feel strength in numbers knowing there are people all around the world participating in this 40 days in some way with me.  I feel a desire to finally prove that in my own strength I can do nothing, but I don't operate that way anymore.

 God is real in my life and with Him I can do anything.

Seems Appropriate....

I miss blogging.  I let it get too complicated which I tend to do with everything thinking that I couldn't put things out of order and I certainly didn't want to miss documenting something very important.  In order to simplify, I have been using an online journal which allows me to put pictures directly from my phone with a short story to go along with it.  However, I want to get back to using this as well. 

I felt it appropriate to have my first post back about our new family member since my last post was about losing our dog of 13 years. 

I have to admit I enjoyed some time without the responsibility of a dog.  Jake was old for so long that I had to manage a schedule around how long we could be gone or make arrangements to have someone come out to let him outside.  The freedom I thought I was enjoying didn't last long and quickly my heart began to ache for a new dog.  I spent hours online searching for our next pet and researching breeds.

We fostered a dog for a month, a Great Pyreenes named Bailey.  She was a beautiful dog, but it was very very hard having her here and in the end we decided she wasn't a match for us.  That was a hard time.  I felt nervous to make another "mistake" and once again spent hours watching craigslist ads, checking ebay classifieds, and pet finder for new postings.  It seemed like a few dogs I would call about were gone by the time I called.  We checked shelters too never feeling like we met "the one". 

We decided to go back to what we know and get another lab.  It felt like a very safe choice and helped narrow down the searach field which was a good thing.  Motivated with direction, I was back to the computer to find our new family friend and looking at fewer dogs with the new "criteria".

Then one night I jumped onto the website of "The Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan.  The boys and I really enjoy his show and have learned a lot.  He had a section on adoption tips...I think there was 27 of them.  Anyway...one really stuck out with me.  He suggested NOT to limit to your search to a breed because temperment and energy were far more important.  He also pointed out how many shelter dogs are overlooked because of a mix that is fearful such as Rott or Pit Bull. 

Armed with this new idea....I went to petfinder and just searched....dogs within a 25 mile radius.  On page 3...I saw this face. 

I immediately "fell in love" with that face and their description of him as a "goofy dog" just made my heart leap!  I sent the link to Bryan to look at without any confidence that he would be interested since he was still on board with our last plan of a pure bred labrador retreiver:)

He surprised me when he told me call about him because he had a great face.

I contacted Willamette Animal Rescue turning in a 2 page application and waited.  We could not meet him until our application had been approved.  We were leaving the next week for California so I was unsure how it was going to all play out.  It took forever for them to get back to me and made me sure that he had already been adopted.  After I saw him though, I completely halted my search telling myself that if he wasn't the one, I would start again after the New Year.

We were leaving on Wednesday and late Monday afternoon I finally got a call.  They arranged for us to meet him the next night since we were leaving.  They agreed that if we wanted him they would keep him until we got back.  We set out as a family and just adored everything about him when we met him.  He is very unusual looking and with a name like Thurman, it just had to be a great match.  He took right to the kids, was great with other people and showed loyalty by always being aware of where his foster mom was.

He gave us something to look forward to on our long drive back from California and on New Years Eve 2011, he was brought to our home.  He fit in instantly and is such a great addition to our family.  He has amazing manners, is well trained, and has never destroyed a thing.  He is leash trained, waits to be invited at doorways, loves to play ball, but is also very mellow inside.  He is perfect for us.  He filled a void left by Jake.  He makes us smile.  He is helping us to write a new chapter in the Doeren family history.  He is a great friend for the kids and a good watch dog.  Brody said it perfect in a report on Dogs he gave at FIGS....

"God answered our prayers when He brought us Thurman". 

Thank you God for that.