Sacrifice....not something normal people want to think about. Sounds awful, not fun, and don't sign me up for that.
Today in a sermon, I heard it is a synonym for worship. That sounds better.
I became involved in Lent a few years ago when my best friend challenged me to think about it. Her husband was raised Catholic and as Protestants they both participate each and every year and I found it fascinating. Since then, I have accepted the challenge, but with small commitments that I felt I could live with. Truly, self-control and sacrifice have not ever a part of that.
This year I felt God really speaking to me to use this time....really. I started researching and searching for what God wants for me, where He wants me to grow and what I am supposed to do this 40 days. If I am totally honest, I literally had a list trying to narrow down what would be the least painful ways for me to walk this 40 day journey until Easter. Not quite the point.
Some scribbles from my notebook...
Fasting...Through eating less we feel some of the hunger He feels for souls
Grasp dependence for our VERY existence
Remove attachments to things of this world
What habits are destructive to my spiritual health?
Praying...something to bring me closer to God
To what do I devote too much or not enough of my time?
Giving....Thinking of others less fortunate
"Even the smallest act of self-denial has value in the eyes of God"
As it came down to the day before, I knew what God wanted me to do, but saying it out loud was not something I wanted to admit.
I have literally struggled with the concept of food fasting for years! I remember borrowing books from my friend Beth in California and seeking advice from anyone that would talk about it and researching online. I clearly felt God wanting me to do this and I had some very small success stories, but many more failures. I put it out of my mind. Every year for Lent, I have fasted "things" not food. This year God wants more. The thing I feel I can't ever give up is exactly what I need to give up. What has control of me? Where do I loose my self control?
I knew I needed the fasting part of Lent for me to be around food now. So, I started another list...
Coffee...just started back after 11 years, way too soon
Chocolate....maybe, plenty of other desserts to eat like vanilla ice cream
A whole meal....What? Give up a meal? Crazy...I need 3 a day
Snacks...maybe
Broccoli...I could do that
Gluten....annoying, but very doable these days:)
When I look at my list, I realized it HAS to be the one I didn't think possible. I decided on a whole meal. (without changing the timing, that would be too easy) I knew right away it had to be lunch...my favorite. I tried to convince myself that breakfast would mean the same sacrifice, but my heart knows it is not true. I could easily give up breakfast. Lunch however, I really love. I think about it a lot. When I am cooking dinner, I usually try to have a good amount leftover so I can have a hot lunch. I spend extra on ready meals I like and plan my lunch with as much details as I plan dinner. I love to go out to lunch the most.
Lunch it is.
Can I do it? I feel strength in numbers knowing there are people all around the world participating in this 40 days in some way with me. I feel a desire to finally prove that in my own strength I can do nothing, but I don't operate that way anymore.
God is real in my life and with Him I can do anything.
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