Sacrifice....such a dirty word!

Sacrifice....not something normal people want to think about.  Sounds awful, not fun, and don't sign me up for that.

Today in a sermon, I heard it is a synonym for worship.  That sounds better.

I became involved in Lent a few years ago when my best friend challenged me to think about it.  Her husband was raised Catholic and as Protestants they both participate each and every year and I found it fascinating.  Since then, I have accepted the challenge, but with small commitments that I felt I could live with.  Truly, self-control and sacrifice have not ever a part of that.

This year I felt God really speaking to me to use this time....really.  I started researching and searching for what God wants for me, where He wants me to grow and what I am supposed to do this 40 days.  If I am totally honest, I literally had a list trying to narrow down what would be the least painful ways for me to walk this 40 day journey until Easter.  Not quite the point.

Some scribbles from my notebook...

Fasting...Through eating less we feel some of the hunger He feels for souls
Grasp dependence for our VERY existence
Remove attachments to things of this world
What habits are destructive to my spiritual health?


Praying...something to bring me closer to God
To what do I devote too much or not enough of my time?

Giving....Thinking of others less fortunate

"Even the smallest act of self-denial has value in the eyes of God"

As it came down to the day before, I knew what God wanted me to do, but saying it out loud was not something I wanted to admit. 

I have literally struggled with the concept of food fasting for years!  I remember borrowing books from my friend Beth in California and seeking advice from anyone that would talk about it and researching online.  I clearly felt God wanting me to do this and I had some very small success stories, but many more failures.  I put it out of my mind.  Every year for Lent, I have fasted "things" not food.  This year God wants more.  The thing I feel I can't ever give up is exactly what I need to give up.  What has control of me?  Where do I loose my self control? 

I knew I needed the fasting part of Lent for me to be around food now.  So, I started another list...

Coffee...just started back after 11 years, way too soon
Chocolate....maybe, plenty of other desserts to eat like vanilla ice cream
A whole meal....What?  Give up a meal?  Crazy...I need 3 a day
Snacks...maybe
Broccoli...I could do that
Gluten....annoying, but very doable these days:)

When I look at my list, I realized it HAS to be the one I didn't think possible.  I decided on a whole meal.  (without changing the timing, that would be too easy)  I knew right away it had to be lunch...my favorite.  I tried to convince myself that breakfast would mean the same sacrifice, but my heart knows it is not true.  I could easily give up breakfast.  Lunch however, I really love.  I think about it a lot.  When I am cooking dinner, I usually try to have a good amount leftover so I can have a hot lunch. I spend extra on ready meals I like and plan my lunch with as much details as I plan dinner.  I love to go out to lunch the most. 

Lunch it is. 

Can I do it?  I feel strength in numbers knowing there are people all around the world participating in this 40 days in some way with me.  I feel a desire to finally prove that in my own strength I can do nothing, but I don't operate that way anymore.

 God is real in my life and with Him I can do anything.

Seems Appropriate....

I miss blogging.  I let it get too complicated which I tend to do with everything thinking that I couldn't put things out of order and I certainly didn't want to miss documenting something very important.  In order to simplify, I have been using an online journal which allows me to put pictures directly from my phone with a short story to go along with it.  However, I want to get back to using this as well. 

I felt it appropriate to have my first post back about our new family member since my last post was about losing our dog of 13 years. 

I have to admit I enjoyed some time without the responsibility of a dog.  Jake was old for so long that I had to manage a schedule around how long we could be gone or make arrangements to have someone come out to let him outside.  The freedom I thought I was enjoying didn't last long and quickly my heart began to ache for a new dog.  I spent hours online searching for our next pet and researching breeds.

We fostered a dog for a month, a Great Pyreenes named Bailey.  She was a beautiful dog, but it was very very hard having her here and in the end we decided she wasn't a match for us.  That was a hard time.  I felt nervous to make another "mistake" and once again spent hours watching craigslist ads, checking ebay classifieds, and pet finder for new postings.  It seemed like a few dogs I would call about were gone by the time I called.  We checked shelters too never feeling like we met "the one". 

We decided to go back to what we know and get another lab.  It felt like a very safe choice and helped narrow down the searach field which was a good thing.  Motivated with direction, I was back to the computer to find our new family friend and looking at fewer dogs with the new "criteria".

Then one night I jumped onto the website of "The Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan.  The boys and I really enjoy his show and have learned a lot.  He had a section on adoption tips...I think there was 27 of them.  Anyway...one really stuck out with me.  He suggested NOT to limit to your search to a breed because temperment and energy were far more important.  He also pointed out how many shelter dogs are overlooked because of a mix that is fearful such as Rott or Pit Bull. 

Armed with this new idea....I went to petfinder and just searched....dogs within a 25 mile radius.  On page 3...I saw this face. 

I immediately "fell in love" with that face and their description of him as a "goofy dog" just made my heart leap!  I sent the link to Bryan to look at without any confidence that he would be interested since he was still on board with our last plan of a pure bred labrador retreiver:)

He surprised me when he told me call about him because he had a great face.

I contacted Willamette Animal Rescue turning in a 2 page application and waited.  We could not meet him until our application had been approved.  We were leaving the next week for California so I was unsure how it was going to all play out.  It took forever for them to get back to me and made me sure that he had already been adopted.  After I saw him though, I completely halted my search telling myself that if he wasn't the one, I would start again after the New Year.

We were leaving on Wednesday and late Monday afternoon I finally got a call.  They arranged for us to meet him the next night since we were leaving.  They agreed that if we wanted him they would keep him until we got back.  We set out as a family and just adored everything about him when we met him.  He is very unusual looking and with a name like Thurman, it just had to be a great match.  He took right to the kids, was great with other people and showed loyalty by always being aware of where his foster mom was.

He gave us something to look forward to on our long drive back from California and on New Years Eve 2011, he was brought to our home.  He fit in instantly and is such a great addition to our family.  He has amazing manners, is well trained, and has never destroyed a thing.  He is leash trained, waits to be invited at doorways, loves to play ball, but is also very mellow inside.  He is perfect for us.  He filled a void left by Jake.  He makes us smile.  He is helping us to write a new chapter in the Doeren family history.  He is a great friend for the kids and a good watch dog.  Brody said it perfect in a report on Dogs he gave at FIGS....

"God answered our prayers when He brought us Thurman". 

Thank you God for that.

All About Jake

We got Jake at four months old, we did not know at the time what an imipact he would have on our lives 13 years later.

He was a very happy lab as most are, but even our vet in California nicknamed him "Mr. Happy".  He was always glad to see us and just to be with us.  His favorite thing to do besides eating was playing Frisbee.  He would play until he was ready to pass out.  Before we had children he would sleep in our bed with us, then we had childrenhe spent more time outside as our priorities changed.  He went on almost every family vacation and really became a member of our family.

I named him Big Jake after John Wayne, one of my favorite movies it just seemed to fit him.  He was a fair weathered dog and did not care for cold, snow or rain.  When we moved to Oregon he loved it because we kept him inside all the time.  He had beds all over the house because next to eating he loved sleeping.

At age 13, not too long after his birthday, with lung failure, a swollen heart and his back legs going, we decided it was time.  The whole family went to the vet, because that's what love does.  We wanted to be with him to the end and not miss one part of his life.  As I write this with tears in my eyes, I can tell you without a doubt, that he was "the best dog in the world."

Thank you God for the 13 awesome years with our friend Jake.  You have a great dog with you now, just remember to play frisbee with him.

To:  Jake    From:  Brody
Jake was a great dog.  I've had him for most of my life.  Jake was a yellow lab.  He was always shedding.  He loved Beggin Strips.  We gave him one when we had to go somewhere.  He was really soft with big brown eyes.  At the age of 13 the family agreed that we should put him to sleep.  We had hated to see him suffer. 

Our dog Big Jake died a couple of days ago.  He was a yellow lab.  He shedded tons of hair and loved food.  He took sausage right off Brody's plate!
He got his name from one of Daddy's favorite John Wayne movies, Big Jake.
Mommy and Daddy got him when he was 4 months old.  Daddy said he looked like a doofus with a small head and a big body.  He loved food, and at the age of 12 he started eating his poop. 
He was definitely the best dog in the world.

A Special Gift

Almost 13 years ago when I was a sales rep for The Iams Company,  I received a special gift, that made an huge impact on my life.  I was making my rounds in the L.A. area and found my to Peggy Woods Pet Emporium, one of my favorite customers.  When I parked, I saw a pretty big puppy in an outdoor cage which I had never seen before.  I asked Ira, the owner, and he told me that he was a "return".  He sells puppies, and someone had purchased this yellow lab and got more than they bargained for.  It was hard to sell him again because most people wanted the itsy bitsy tiny puppies.  He said these words to me..."Do you want him"?  I am pretty sure that I laughed it off, finished a meeting, and went about the rest of my work there.  But something happened to get me thinking.  It could of been just the darn cuteness of that animal, or the fact that I felt sorry for him and it broke my heart that no one wanted him...whatever it was...I was slowly changing my mind.  I called Bryan at his job at Petsmart where he agreed that we had room and the love for one more dog.  That was that...I loaded him up in my car, left work early, and met Bryan at work to meet our new pet.  Jake was then 4 months old. 

This past Monday, on July 11th, we had to make the very hard decision to help that beloved pet die peacefully because he just wouldn't give up and leave us on his own.  He had arthritis in his back legs so bad that sitting and standing were very hard and I could see that it was hard for him to get comfortable, though he was not a complainer.  He also lost control of his bowels which was not fun for either of us,  had partial paralysis in his throat, and an enlarged heart that was making it harder and harder to breathe. 

In the middle were 13 years with that dog which was a  huge part of this family.  That is a long time to have someone by your side....and I do mean that literally.  When I was home, Jake was pretty much at my feet.  He came into the bathroom when I showered, laid at my feet when I was in the office, was on his bed in the family room or living room when I was in there, laid right at the kitchen sink when I was cooking, and slept next to my side of the bed.  I miss that.  He was a great, and loyal companion.  Before his hearing and eyesight went bad, he was a good guard dog too.  I felt safe with him around.  I miss that.  He always greeted us at the door, tail wagging, and happy to see us.  I miss that.  He LOVED to play frisbee and when he was able, would play until we had to stop him.  I miss that too.

 Jake went on family vacations whenever we could take him, cheered us up when we were sad or lonely, and loved on our kids too when they came along.  He never acted jealous, even though he got thrown outside during the day for a few years;)  When we moved to Oregon, he got what he always wanted...a permanent indoor position as an active member of the family.  We think he lived out his last few years in luxury:)

Here are some pictures we captured of us with Jake and his last few days here on earth...I will always be grateful for these memories.

We are all adjusting to live without Jake and it is hard.  Going to bed the first night without him there was hard, waking up without having "Jake duty" was hard, leaving the house without taking him out and giving him a treat was hard, vacuuming up the last ton of dog hair aound the house was hard, even sitting in silence without his panting by me is still hard.  Brody cried the first day he did his chores and didn't have to get him water and Connor was sad when there was no one to throw his crust to.  We miss him a lot but each day does get easier.

We were lucky to have him as long as we did and are grateful for that.  He leaves a large hole in the hearts of all of us here and always will.

Where have I been? Part III!

At the rate I am going...my whole summer will be full of "Where Have I Been" postings!:)  Anyway, on to part III!

This year the boys took the stage at our homeschool groups "Delight Night" (variety show)!  I was very excited about that.  Brody put this presentation together all by himself titled "Bunnies at Home".  He designed the poster, what to put on it, and did all the writing and drawing.  I was very proud of him.  He got to take Dusty to the show which helped him get over any nervous feelings he might have had.  He also recited a short poem.  Way to go Brody!

At "Delight Night" Connor did two things.  He played three pieces on the piano and did a great  job and also introduced all the families to Sport Stacking.  He had a lot of fun and even got one of his new high records during the demonstration which really excited him. 

Brody participated in a local race called the Awesome 3000.  He ran 1 mile and really enjoyed it.  There were a lot of kids there....see him in the group shot in the orange?  I was grateful for that as I fought to keep track of him in all the frenzy.  It was so funny at the start because he laid ALL the way back and let all the crazy kids run off when they shot the starting fire.  He literally took off DEAD last.  I guess I should of emphasized the word "race" more, but he really doesn't like crowds and I heard some kids got knocked down, so it seems he made a smart choice!  He did real well, moved way up, finished the race and said...."I'm not even tired"!

The day before Brody's big race, Connor participated in Teen Pact.  This was a one day leadership training class in the government.  He even had homework to do ahead of time which involved writing a bill.  We did a prayer walk for all the leaders, a scavenger hunt, and learned all about the legislative process.  As you can see, he had to dress for the event.  I could hardly stand how grown up he looked in that tie;)  It was a terrific experience and we both enjoyed it very much!

Where Have I been....Part II

 

When there was a dry day we tried to get out and get some work done. Here, the boys are loading up firewood....well....one is loading up anyway?:)  I just love this picture. 



We celebrated Easter.  Here are Connor's amazing eggs. He did a great job and even though decorating eggs is a lot of fun...it was clear that he knew we were celebrating something big!  We also went to a wonderful service on Good Friday.  Connor was happy to hear some of the same songs that we have been learning at home.  We also enjoyed a great story called "Amon's Adventure" written just for Lent.  It was a great way to keep us focused on the death, burial, and of course the Resurrection of Jesus!


Here are the eggs that Brody decorated.  We found a neat kit this year, with little rollers.  It made the eggs very sticky, but fun and very bright. 

This year Brody got a very special bible.  I looked and looked and decided on this NIV version.  He is always commenting on the small print in Connor's backpack bible in a negative way so I found a large print bible just for him.  He seemed very excited about it!

Brody celebrated his big 7 1/2 birthday!  Wow...is time flying.  They are both very excited to do the decorating all on their own.  I'm not sure what this was, but I have an idea.  See the grass at the bottom?

We visited a Buffalo Ranch with our FIGS group and it was a great field trip.   The best part was that earlier that morning, we picked up Aunt Lara from the airport!

 We decided to take Aunt Lara to the coast to see the ocean!  We ended up with a room in a little town called Seaside.  Along the way, we just had to stop at the famous Tillamook Cheese Factory!

 Did I mention they have ice cream?  YUM!!!  Aunt Lara and I enjoyed some real Marionberry ice cream....life is good!

We just had to show Aunt Lara Flamingo Jim's outside of Rockaway.  We always stop by when see the LeVesque's on their annual visit, what a fun place!

 Aunt Lara was VERY surprised to see people at the "beach" in sweatshirts!

 Connor and Brody had their first bumper car experience and boy was that a blast!  It was Aunt Lara and Brody against mommy and Connor.  I'm pretty sure it was a tie!

We stayed at the Shilo Inn and they enjoyed many hours in the pool swimming.  We also let them go into the sauna which reminded me so much of Grandma and Grandpa's condo in Florida!

We really enjoyed our visit.  After Aunt Lara left things kept up at that pace for a while....more to come in Part III!



Where Have I been? Part 1

I think this is by far my longest "dry spell" since starting my blog. Wow...April 16th...what have I been doing since then?

The first place I have been is using an online journal called Cozi. This is so handy, and I can upload pictures and quick stories to go with them in a matter of minutes. I have found it to be a huge shortcut of keeping people informed and it even sends out a monthly newsletter to people that want that much information on my family:) However, I do realize it only does a few pictures and a small part of "the story" so I really do want to get back to my blog. After all I am three years behind on my photo albums, and I don't want that to happen here!

April and May were quite the blur...I have decided to keep this short and full of pictures then try to back into the swing of things.

In April I jumped on the chance to go to California for a week of "spring break" for us. I had a business opportunity to work a vendor fair for two days and the boys and I really needed some sunshine, some time with family and friends, and a break from school. (not necessarily in that order) We had a great time!

Shorts, sunglasses and sunscreen are pretty unheard of in April in Oregon, so it was a real treat to enjoy some beautiful weather. There was actually snow the day before we arrived and it knocked some branches of some of the palms...made for great toys!

A lot of hours were spent with Grandma & Pa watching movies, playing outside, and Yahtzee!

Of course some good times were had with Zack....

and the Barker clan at the park! We got see one of best buds Caleb play baseball...sorry no picture of that...but I did get to play a lot of "bear" with one of my most favorite little people on the planet...Ms. Lillie!We were very excited to meet our friends pony....I mean dog...Macy! What a beautiful dog! We enjoyed some play time with Morgan, Ryanne, and the whole Loomis clan!

It ended with a passel of kids on the couch watching "Tangled".

Fun, fun times. I am so grateful to for trips "home".

Stay tuned for part II coming soon to a blog near you:)