Tuesday, January 15, 2013

New Milestones

Smiling,
           Sitting Up,
                           Standing,
                                            Crawling,
                                                            1st Solid Food,
                                                                                    Walking,
                                                                                                 Running,
                                                                                                              Falling,
                                                                                                                           Talking....

SO many milestones when our kids are babies.  They are new, and everything they do is new and exciting and "milestone" worthy.  I snapped pictures, and wrote in baby books all the details of each cherished moment. I shared the "good news" with anyone that would listen and clapped and showed sheer bliss on my face so he would know how proud mommy was.

However, I was recently hit hard with what I consider a new kind of  milestone....
It was Christmas Eve and we were enjoying a fun filled visit Grandma's house and he got one of his terrible headaches.  When I noticed just how bad he was feeling, I went to sweep him away to quiet and safety where he could recover.  That is when it hit me....I could no longer carry or even remotely sweep this....this,.....young man anywhere!  I made a valiant effort and moved a few steps, but it wasn't going to happen.
I can't carry my "baby" anymore!!!

I have to admit it made me feel a little lonely in a strange way.  Why was this "milestone" making me a little sad instead of happy?  Why did I feel it a moment to be dreaded instead of celebrated?  What makes it different than crawling or smiling for the first time?

It was a harsh reminder of how fast time is going.  I looked back on the times such as the one in this picture when I would hardly let this little baby out of my arms.  It reminded me that there will be less and less ways that I can step in, assist and make everything better.  He had to walk himself over to where he could rest, he had to do the work.  He wasn't alone, I stayed by his side, but the effort becomes his own.  He secretly loves the fact that he is "too big to carry" and I think secretly I might as well.  He is on his way to becoming a man who will have responsibilities of his own one day. I want that for him and desire for him to mature and be prepared for the day to"leave his mother and father."  So, I decided to go ahead and mark this down, celebrate it, and share about it here because it is an important moment.  I decided not to be sad at all, but to look forward to all he has to do with the life in front of him and enjoy my role each step of the way.

But....I will continue to take what I can get...even the head turned the side, run into me kind of hugs and enjoy every minute that I have the pleasure and honor of preparing this guy for "that day."

....And maybe I'll do more push-ups:)

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