A Tough Question

Today I realized that I have been attending church regularly for close to 11 years. Thoughts, comments, things I have learned have been scattered on bulletins, in my bible and some have even made it to long term storage center of my brain. A large amount sermons will usually ask a question during some point, or as Pastor Don put it, ask you to move something into the column C which means to do something with it. I have to admit sometimes I think later about these things and sometimes they sit in my bulletin without me taking the time to think them through any more. So, what I want to do is use my blog as a place to record some of these thoughts and answer these questions.

Anyway, today a church that we have been attending called Court Street Christian Church began a series in Revelation which I am excited about. Bryan and I will also be attending a bible study on Wednesday nights which will follow along and dig deeper into this book of prophecy. I have to begin by admitting that I have stayed pretty far away from this book. If I am honest, I'm not sure I have even read through the whole thing. I know I have read a large part of it through sermons and bible studies that I have done in the past but a huge sigh of relief comes over me when I get to turn to something else. So, I have to start by saying...why is that? There are a couple reasons that came to me as I was washing dishes this evening. Some are; I am downright scared of it, it challenges me to much, and I'm afraid I won't understand what the hec I'm reading and after all who wants to feel stupid! But as of today, I'm moving forward and will see what I learn.

Today, the question was clear, no need to "figure" this one out...

Am I living with the end in mind?

Before this question was asked though a few important things happened. He led us to the verse in Acts 2:17 which explains that the "last days" began the day of Pentecost when the apostles received the Holy Spirit. However when it comes to timing, that is all we know...no one can predict the exact time because we are told that only the Father knows this. He also cautioned about being paranoid or indifferent to the view of prophecy laid out here. I have to admit, I've been both of those things. Part of me is scared and part of me just doesn't think about it. He gave us some things to remember as we move through this book that will help us to understand such as; God's timing is different than ours, and to recognize John's audience when writing this book. Then the very last thing....he popped the big one....

Am I living with the end in mind?

I find myself even now wishing he just would of asked if we want to, or hope to, or really work hard to shoot for that goal. That would be easier to answer, but that wasn't it. So, I can say that I try but not hard enough. Is there a proper Christian term for "half a_ _" ? That is where I would fall here if I'm honest. I look back and realize that part of what brought me back to church and into a relationship with Christ in the first place is a downright fear of going to hell. I believe it to be a real place and I don't want to go! I'll take a place at the gates of heaven, a tent right inside the door or the mansion, I'm not picky! Now, I won't say that is the best way to get where God wants you, but He knew it would work for me. After all, aren't a lot of us scared of consequences? I think that determines a lot of our actions if we are honest. I think about my end time and that of my kids and family more than anyone outside of that...wow...that is pretty selfish, but it is brutal honesty about where I'm at. I think about us dying but not the rapture in that sense. If I truly expand that thought to the end for everyone it would and should call me to more action. That is where I can grow from this sermon, and look for ways to do that.


So be it.