Five Love Languages for my kids Update

YEAH! I finished the book! It was easy to do because it was really good. The concept is simple, but it was packed with information. It was also important to me which always makes the task at hand more attainable.



However there are a few things I learned that I didn't expect. I thought once I figured their primary language, then showed them that daily that all would be right with the world and my boys will grow up feeling secure and loved in their lives and we will move forward into lifelong bliss. Well...maybe...but a few more things to consider that stood out to me....



1) Children still need to see examples of all the love languages so they are able to relate to others as they grow mature. After all, everyone they come in contact with and have friendships and relationships with will not be the same so they need to experience it all!

2) To discipline a child in their primary love language is very counter productive to achieving any goal I might have in mind.



So, my first step in analyzing where they would fall was to simply ask the question and here is how that went.



Me: "Connor, do you know that mommy loves you?"

Connor: "Of course I do"

Me: "How do you know?"

Connor: "Because you tell me all the time."



Me: "Brody, do you know that I love you?"

Brody: Nodded yes

Me: "How do you know I love you?"

Brody: "Because you helped me clean the play room."



So, I thought..."wow this is pretty easy", clearly a words of affirmation for Connor and acts of service for Brod. Slam Dunk!



Then, I decided to take a little question quiz in the back of the book withe each of the boys separately and of course the answers came out different than the above.



Connor's answers ranked like this..

Quality Time - 6

Words of Affirmation - 5

Gifts - 4

Acts of Service - 3

Physical Touch - 2



Brody's were...

Quality Time - 7

Gifts - 5

Words of Affirmation - 4

Acts of Service - 3

Physical Touch - 0



Now, in all fairness, we just celebrated their birthdays and Christmas is only a week away so I feel like the gifts scored way higher than they normally would. Reading the text, it is pretty clear that although they love receiving special things and presents, I don't think they put the value on those that the answered showed! Bryan agrees so we are moving forward with the premise that their first and second love languages are as follows....

Connor - 1) Quality Time 2) Words of Affirmation
Brody - 1) Quality Time 2) Acts of Service



I figure if I log it here on my blog it will help me to be accountable and not forget all that I learned from this book.

I would highly recommend it to any parent reading this! I know it is Christmas Eve now as I am posting this, but it would be a great gift idea!