To Indulge or Not to Indulge...

For some reason on my parenting journey I am super sensitive to NOT indulge my children. I'm not even sure where it comes from. I'm sure if I felt I really need to know a few hours in some sort of therapy would pull out some buried emotional instance from my past, but truthfully I just don't care. I want to give my children good things and I love giving them gifts, I just don't want them to feel entitled, I want them to be grateful and appreciative.



The definition of indulge is... To give free rein to; To yield to the desires and whims of



I am wanting to raise boys that care more about the needs of others and don't enjoy being around kids that get everything they want or think they need. I was bound and determined to be able to walk through a store with my kids not kicking and screaming because they want a toy or some other item. It has taken discipline on my part but has paid off!



But I have to share a story...



A few months ago, the boys and I ran into TJ Maxx looking for some pictures to decorate a wall with. We ran into this stuffed dog, a huge stuffed dog and my boys just fell in love with him. They carried him around the store and talked of getting him. When we added up the money they had between them they were $5 short. At $3 a week each it would take a week of waiting. Brody was very encouraging to Connor explaining that next week they could afford to get the new beloved item, but Connor struggled a little more. He reasoned that if I would give him the money they could get him now! It took every ounce of willpower on my part to not shower this gift on them, but I felt I just couldn't! So, we hid him in the store (boy did I score some serious points with that one), and I told them we would talk to daddy and we would see. They both walked out of that store, not the least bit upset and I was so impressed with their behavior! Anyway, after talking with daddy we decided to "lend" them the money because there was only one of him and we didn't know if we would be there the next week. So, we made the exception and went back the next day.

Wow were they excited. They took that whole night to really decide if this was something they wanted to spend ALL their money on, if they could share him, where he would go in the room and what they would name him.

He was there and we brought him home the next day. They bought their first thing on credit! I can't find the picture but they slept for 2 nights in our guest bed with that dog in the middle so they could share him properly. They wrote journal entries on him, played with him every day and were just so thrilled.

So, I have to report two months later that "Paws" is still at the top of the favorite list. They absolutely adore that silly dog. They dress him, switch off sleeping with him, and even have created books for him when he attending their "school". It is so precious!

Looking back, I am so excited about the way it turned out. I love to say yes to them! Truthfully, I'm not even sure if they did pay me the money because it isn't about that..it is about the life lesson! It is about raising adults who can wait...It is about raising adults who can think through a decision, and raising adults who are grateful.