Very rarely do we eat dinner together at the table as a family.
There I said it. Whew, do I feel better!
I have read too many articles and heard too many advertisements warning me about the negative ways that this will impact my boys throughout their life; and they constantly fill me with guilt. I am working to let this go and have realized that all families are different. A lot of times Bryan is not home when I start the boys on their dinner. Right now it is playoff season, and we are eating in the family room; only temporary. Our island only seats three with the stools we picked. (There is something wrong with that) On the other hand, sometimes when I make a really nice dinner we DO sit down together at our table and enjoy a meal together. It just depends. It is on my mind a lot though. At breakfast the boys and I are always together and usually reading the bible and starting our history lessons for the day. At lunch they almost ALWAYS ask to read as their "break" from school, but I don't usually let them at dinner.BUT...I did try the other night. It was salad bar night (notice how Connor's ingredients don't mix or even touch; that is a whole new blog topic...by definition I'm not sure if that is a salad?? I digress...) and the kids wanted to sit at the island in the kitchen where they eat most of their meals. I let the guilt get to me and went to have dinner with them so I sat down to enjoy some togetherness and this is what happened...
They wouldn't get their faces out of their books! They said things like....
"Come on mom, we want to read!" and "We see you ALL the time." "Just let us read for a little while, PLEASE."
So, I sat with them while they read and enjoyed our meal together anyway which consisted mostly of me giving them a hard time about how much I was enjoying their company. They will know I tired if nothing else by the proof in this post!
I know what "they" say but I want to realize "they" don't know us. I don't feel this deep need to connect with them over a meal, we do that all day. Sometimes for daddy the best thing for him is a few minutes to himself to decompress after a long day. Sometimes we look like a TV commercial for Stouffers Lasagna laughing and enjoying each other at a beautifully decorated table. Ok....maybe not decorated....
I want that to be OK with me, the way we are. After all, for now....it works for us.
1 comment:
And consider why the "experts" make such a fuss about the dinner together thing. It's because families are so busy and so split the rest of the day. You are NOT one of those families. You can ignore that guilt trip because the admonition doesn't even apply to you. You said yourself you have meals together when circumstances allow. Try to get that one out of your head!
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