I didn't know she liked Gumbo

I found this "journal entry" I wrote tucked away in a stack of papers. I know it will get lost but since I wrote it for the purpose of the boys to see one day, I want to put it in my blog archive so I will know where it is! Isn't digital storage amazing??

9/25/07

I just returned from a trip to St. Louis where I was happy to attend my brother's wedding. The night I flew in my Aunt Lucy passed away at the age of 94. Actually she is my great aunt, but since Mimi (my grandmother) lived with her since I can remember she was kind of like a grandmother to me also. I am saddened by how much I learned about her at her memorial service. I know I loved her dearly but I didn't know her very well and I am disappointed in myself for that. The only I time I spent with her and my Uncle Tommy was really at holidays. I do have fond and wonderful memories of her mannerisms; her smile, her laugh, and most of all her beautiful southern accent. Not one of silliness, but one that spoke distinguished and eloquent. I will never forget her famous sayings and the way she spoke them "Hot Damn", "Oh Boy", "That's marvelous", and "How Grand". I remember meals at Thanksgiving and at Christmas that as a young child and teenager I could not appreciate. I didn't know that she was a wonderful cook and that she enjoyed teaching others. I didn't know that on other days throughout the year she was loved for her incredible hospitality and that she used those amazing gifts to serve others so much. She was involved at church in this area too, and impacted many young women. It was said that she carried herself as though in her presence you felt she was 10 feet tall. That I do remember! She loved gardening which I wish I would of taken some time to learn from her. She loved learning our family history which I did know but once again just didn't appreciate. I have learned to make decisions earlier in life to what you might think important later. Luckily she did pass on that love to my cousin Ann and I know I have access to that information! She passed on and taught her love of cooking to her son Tom. At her "All Things Lucy" celebration dinner after the funeral - he served gumbo from her recipe and there was small coke bottles and little cake pinafores. It was a fun night. Now my Great Uncle Tommy is left with the tough job, being here without her. How do you do that after 67 years with someone? Well, I guess he will find a way although I don't expect him to for long. He is a tough old bird though and at the age of 92 only time will really tell. Now I know after sharing dinner with him that night that he loves gumbo too.

I was thinking about all of them a lot yesterday as we celebrated our day late Thanksgiving! I did pull off a pretty good turkey if I do say so myself, but missed all the activity of a lot of people. I was thinking as I raise my boys how sometimes things really do matter, even though we think they might not. I am not sure if I can even articulate what I am trying to say, but even though I thought some of those visits painful as a selfish child, as an adult I would give anything to have them back. The lesson learned came later in life than I'm sure some, including me, would of liked, but it did come. As I make decisions on things for Connor and Brody I have to always keep the long term in mind. My job is not to make them totally happy about everything, but to do things and hope that long term valuable life lessons will be learned. I have written in my bible this same philosophy with our heavenly father though I don't remember where I heard it...

"Gods desire is to advance His kingdom, not make me extremely happy."

My purpose as their mom is to raise them every day with the long term as my goal; what kind of person they will be, what they will value, and how they will treat others along the way. My prayer is that would live their life before an audience of One and always have a bigger picture in their mind and in their hearts as well! I hope along the way that I can offer them some of this "big picture perspective" that I have learned on my own journey!

As expected my Uncle Tommy did pass away a short time later. I am so glad I have this picture from that night of celebrating her life and so many good memories of him too!

I'm sure my Aunt Lucy and Mimi are chuckling together as they watched me from above sitting with my boys showing them proudly our family tree as we studied the Mayflower and the history of the first Thanksgiving. I know they didn't "care" as much as I did, but I hope they can learn from my mistakes as all parents do, even when it takes longer than I would hope and pray for!

Save a Turkey - Eat PIZZA!

Well, today is not a traditional Thanksgiving here in the Doeren household. There are a couple of reasons for that including our move out of state to Oregon, but the main one is that today is also Connor's 7th birthday! We decided to celebrate today and do some things his way just like we did for Brody's birthday! So, he started the day with his favorite breakfast, buttermilk pancakes and sausage! Then he got to open his presents which of course he was very excited about. We took the cake and ice cream over to his cousins house to celebrate with us before they indulge in their turkey dinner tonight! Then, we were blessed to find a Pizza Hut willing to make a pizza for him, his special request, because they were there anyway prepping for the next day! All, in all it has been a great day but it doesn't stop there! Tonight in just about 2 hours we are off to pick up Aunt Lara who is flying into Portland airport to spend 5 whole days with us and we are SO excited about that. Since she traveled all day today, I will spend tomorrow cooking a traditional Thanksgiving meal, (OK, so I'm not really saving a turkey, in fact I bought two!) turkey and all. It will be the first time doing it totally on my own, so I am a little nervous but it should be fun too. It will be nice to have family here to celebrate with!

It is hard to believe that 7 years ago today I became a mom for the first time. I remember when he was about 3 days old, I had a moment where I thought, "wow, what have I gotten into"! (it was also about 3:00 in the morning!) It is the moment when it hit me that I had truly just begun a lifelong commitment and one that has changed my life more than anything. I can't even imagine who I would be right now if it were not for the blessing, privilege, and honor of motherhood that God has blessed me with in this lifetime. I am so grateful for that.

I took Brody shopping for Connor's present 2 weeks ago and to my surprise he actually kept it a surprise! He wanted to get him this red football so bad, (of course it is the last thing I would of picked, another football!) since red is his favorite color. He was so excited to give it to him and wanted him to save it for the last thing he opened, I'm sure knowing that Connor does live the philosophy of saving for the best for last! Connor said it was one of his favorite gifts and Brody was so happy to bless his brother with this present!

So the boys went out to give it a whirl and are now in front of the fireplace, with full bellies watching the Dallas Cowboys. Does it get any better?

Look Mom - No Cavities!

Well today we made it to the dentist! We braved the "new to us" winter weather and had to go out in the rain and endure temperatures in the low 30's but we made it! I have become so much more grateful for our warm house and car and hey those heated seats in the van are a huge bonus! Anyway, both the boys had great check ups which I am so thrilled with. I have had so much trouble with my teeth, that I just hope and pray for them to have a better mouth! The three of us prayed for no cavities right there in the chairs and I'm sure they thought we were nuts, but that is OK! It worked! The dentist said their teeth look great overall. Connor is missing a permanent tooth, but it should work out OK; and Brody's mouth could get cramped for space, but ultimately there is no way of knowing that in the short term. So, I will just enjoy the good news of the day which is no cavities and no visit needed for a whole year!

Of all the times we have gone to the dentist, not once have I remembered my camera and I have always regretted that once we get there. I guess because when you have gone through what I have it that chair, there seems to be nothing cute about it! But, wouldn't you know it, the office also turned out to be a sort of time capsule too, and they took these cute Polaroids for me!! Yes, I typed that right a real working Polaroid! I thought I held out going digital!

They were excellent patients and said their favorite part was the flouride treatment. That must of come a long way since I was little but I am grateful for that too!

It is hard to believe that in just 2 days Connor will be 7 years old, doesn't seem possible!

Our Grateful Board

This year I copied an idea I got from a website that suggested covering a door with paper and drawing pictures as a family of things you are grateful for. It sounded like a fun project so here we are just one week from Thanksgiving and I thought I would share some things that my precious little angels have been thankful for in no particular order....

The Bible (OK, I put this one first, I'm trying to look good here!)

Sheep

Sheep Bank

The World

My Bed

My Big Pencil

Paper

Lambs

Money

Cake and Ice Cream

Football

TV

Hot Dogs

Books

My Clock

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

My Piano

War (the cardgame)

Rainbows

Pancakes and Syrup

Monkeys

Hot Dogs

Chocolate Chips

Markers

Jake the Dog

Now, this makes up a pretty good list and I am proud of them for coming up with some really great things. I think keeping it up and on going has really encouraged us all to come up with more and more things. However, I can't help but notice and hopefully you did too, (without even straining), that as of today... I have been left off the list.

What makes it even worse is that I have been sending them to the board more than once a day and pretending not to anticipate, as they tell me to close my eyes as they eagerly add their latest idea to "the board". Then I am pretending to be so excited and pleased with what they did write even though once again it is not "My Mommy". Plus, I even started with some amazing stick figure drawings of how I am thankful for Daddy, Connor and Brody...still nothing.

Now, I know a thousand things have been written and I'm sure there are some great quotes out there on how unappreciated we moms are, so Lord knows I can't come up with anything better! I do know they love me but for some darn reason I was really hoping to make the poster! However, we still have a few days, I could still get crammed somewhere between those hot dogs and the big pencil!

But if it doesn't happen, that is OK too...I knew that when I accepted the position.

Are We Speaking the Same Language?

I could not even begin to list how many unfinished books I have on my shelves that fall in the "self help" category, that would include books on parenting as well. There is also a lot on my want to read list that I haven't even found yet. I started one yesterday that I have been real excited about and I think this one has the potential to make it into my finished within a month stack. It is called, The Five Love Languages of Children. When my husband and I were in pre marital counseling, our pastor; Pastor Don, recommended the book titled "The Five Love Languages" and we really enjoyed it. It made so much sense and seemed so easy...we could probably use a refresher course...BUT

My goal now is to figure out the primary love language of both my boys and it is harder than I thought it would be.

Anyone speak sheep?

Luckily I just read today that at age 5 is when you can really start to tell and Brody just turned 5 a few weeks ago so I am really right on target to try and get this right! So far, I have read the chapters on Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Quality Time. I am wanting to just jump to end and figure out what language Connor and Brody primarily speak, but I am controlling that urge so I can learn as much as possible as I work through the whole book. After reading Quality Time I was a little convicted on using school time for a major part of our quality time. I think it can be real easy for me as a homeschool mom to blur that line and convince myself that I did "spend time" with my kids and a lot of it, but I know it goes beyond that.




So, I decided to pull out the whole, "Let's bake cookies, have fun, and make a huge mess in the kitchen!" As usual it was a big hit!

Then, we opened a birthday present that came in the mail for Brody from our friends the Loomis's is California! We then proceeded to spend about 1 1/2 hours putting together a Neo Shifter Lego guy that had what seemed like 500 pieces!! (My friend doesn't know this, but she just started a competition on who can give the present with the most pieces that requires the most time to assemble! HA! HA!)

So after all our Quality Time I gave them a big Physical Touch hug and high five and told them with some Words of Affirmation what a great job they did, how great I think they are and how much I love being their mom!

When I put to them to bed, Connor said..."mom thanks for helping us build that guy and for letting us make cookies." Maybe today I was speaking his language?

Now I am off to read through Gifts, and hopefully tomorrow on Acts of Service! Life IS Good!

Wii ....Wii

Well, here it is another on my long list of "I will never" with my kids. However, in all fairness here I had to realize that God sent me on this parenting mission with a partner and he has a say in the decisions too! Anyone that really knows me knows that I am not in real strong favor of video games, but my husband really wanted them to start with this one. The active sports ones are what we will be starting with and he has promised me no violence. He also feels it will be a big benefit to have an indoor activity with the rain waiting to pour down on us for months here in Salem.

So, not only did I agree, (without pouting, after all I have had "my way" for a while) but I even shopped for the best price and picked it up while out running errands so it awaits in the closet to be wrapped for Christmas. We have never purchased anything so extravagant for our kids, and it will be the only present under the tree from us this year. For the past few years we have done 3 gifts, representing the 3 gifts Jesus received from the wise men, but we will modify this year and maybe "wrap" some small things in their stockings. I hope they have a blast with it!

BEEP! BEEP!

I have to say that recently I had an entire week that reflected everything I did not want to be in a mom. I was stressed out and feeling very unproductive! The boys were fighting me on school time and I felt I just I could not keep up the house and all I had to do and wanted to do. So, in my mind I came up with a great solution to get Connor mostly on track with school and decided to start there since that is one of the most important things I do here. I mean if the bathroom doesn't get clean, it is gross, but not detrimental in the long term; unless....we were to catch some sickness from germs. OK, I won't even go there! I designed a checklist for Connor's daily activities some with school and some with just being a 7 year (almost) boy. I know that my first born is a lot like me and just knew that he would LOVE checking off boxes and seeing what is expected of him for the whole day! I also put together a rough draft of a schedule for our day so I could avoid the million dollar, "When can we play?" question! Well, I must say that day 1 has gone well and just as I predicted Connor thanked me over and over for his clipboard and liked feeling more in control of when he did what he needed to do! The sun came out after a thick morning fog and after lunch, even thought it was not one the new schedule, we chucked it and walked the dog to the park for some exercise, sunshine, and fun. (still working on that spontaneous thing)

Reflecting on the day, I also have to say that I realized the problem has been more mine because I was the one having a harder time with the new plan! I bought this really cool timer to help us stay on track or at least in the general area and to stop letting time fly by us. Let me tell you, doing 6 loads of laundry, cleaning 2 bathrooms, and vaccuming 3 rooms before the beep was harder on me than it was on them! My husband always says that I get distracted easily or as he puts it, "see something shiny" so it is no wonder things were going that way around here! The fault is mine and my boys win the prize of learning this lesson right along side me...poor kids, I hope they survive the rest of the week.

Still Relevant

You know the beginning is the most important part of any work, especially in the case of a young and tender thing; for that is the time at which the character is being formed and the desired impressions are more readily taken...Shall we just carelessly allow children to hear any casual tales which may be devised by casual persons, and to receive into their minds ideas for the most part the very opposite of those which we should wish them to have when they are grown up?

We cannot...Anything received into the mind at that age is likely to become indelible and unalterable; and therefore it is most important that the tales which the young first hear should models of virtuous thoughts...

Then will our youth dwell in a land of health, amid fair sights and sounds, and receive the good in everything; and beauty, the effluence of fair works, shall flow into the eye and ear, like a health-giving breeze from a purer region, and insensibly draw the soul from the earliest years into likeness and sympathy with the beauty of reason.

There can be no nobler training that that.

This was written by Plato around 380 BC, hard to believe so long ago. I was going to comment on this, but I just can't. What could I say that it doesn't? I just love this!

So Sweet

When I used to say the word "sweet" around here, it literally meant...awwww...so sweet! For example, see how Connor looked in this picture at just 1 month old. He was such an adorable baby.... and this picture always received a "awwww..so sweet" comment.

Now, here we are almost 7 years later and all I hear from this little angel now is "Sweeet". It is so funny to hear him use a phrase that makes him seem so grown up to me. He said it so much today that I found my self a little annoyed at this display of maturity in my first born. I guess the bright side is that the word is used these days to describe something good and something that makes you happy, so in reality I am thrilled that he has found so much in his day to deserve this label. I took this picture today and captured a new look that he has been sporting for a few days now with the beanie...look familiar???

Still so sweet to me, but where has the time gone?

Raking in the Leaves

I have always said that I am a pretty quick study and in just a few short days, I have learned a lot about living here in Oregon. You can't wait for a "nice" day to do yard work, and you are lucky to get a break in the rain for things such as picking up leaves. With the trees shedding their leaves at rapid speed the neighborhood has quickly become covered; in the streets, on the sidewalks, and of course on all the lawns! I can actually tell when there has been a lull in the rain just by listening for the motors reving up of the leaf blowing machines! There are others, however, who don't even wait for that lull, they just go out and get it done. I saw a lady working in her lawn, she must of been in her 60's and it was just pouring down rain, no rain jacket, no hat, just getting wet and working. Now, I have my limits and that is one of them. But Friday, I decided before getting out of bed that no matter what the weather, the boys and I would put a dent in the raking that needs to be done!

So, I did the smart thing and put on a hat and some warm clothes and we headed out after our Language Arts lessons. The boys are at that stage where it was "SO FUN" for them and luckily the rain did cease for a while and we worked our tail off in the front yard. We quickly had 4 huge piles ready to go but only 1 and 1/2 fit in the can! Luckily I had two neighbors the same morning tell me about leaf bags and the strategy of filling them up and dumping one or two in the disposal can each week to get picked up. The neighbors across the street accumulate an average of 60 bags of leaves! Anyway, I was not going to let the wind pick up and ruin all our hard work, so we were off to Wal Mart to get those bags, only 2 boxes on the shelf....whew...that was close! So, when we got back, we filled the can and 4 more bags...a pretty good start if you ask me! I could not of done it without my hard working helpers!

Connor likes to work the rake! He does a real good job!

Brody worked out a system to fill a bucket then stand on the other to reach the can to dump them in.

Today is Saturday and looking out my window, it is hard to tell that we raked anything at all. Luckily I have the pictures and the full bags to prove it!

I guess we will be back at it again soon...you can be sure I will wait for the beautiful sound of those engines running and the chance to stay dry!

Living History

Dear Connor and Brody,

Wow, it is pretty amazing to see American History come alive like it did last night, the first African American president of the US has been elected. As I held my eyes open and watched the news coverage last night of Barack Obama's victory to the white house I was amazed. I am not going to pretend to be a strong political person and truly have little to no understanding of the government and how it even works. I know that as I raise you, and teach you, I am yearning to learn more and am excited to go on that journey together. You should know that I have abused my right to vote in many years past and hope to show you the importance, the blessing that it truly is so that you don't make the same mistake.

So much of this election and the coverage has been on the color of his skin which is why it made history, however I can't help but wonder if that still isn't racist in itself? I am proud of this country and how far we have come since the civil rights movement, yet at the same time I don't think to many overlooked the color of his skin, I feel that is where so many stopped. I am excited that as we move forward in American History that you will see the begining of the fight for equality, to what so many see as the end and "justice served". People feel he represents hope and change and I saw so many emotions on peoples faces as the cameras scanned. I saw hope and praise that borders worship for what one person can do. I will be praying that Barack Obama and his administration will do nothing but good things for this country.

At the same time, you must know that I don't bank to much of my life, my personal day to day happiness on the government here in our country. The God that we serve is so much bigger than that and while respect for our president is deserved, true worship should remain with Jesus and who He is, what He overcame, and what He offers to everyone. He can change our today, our tomorrow and hold our eternal future in His hands. He can even change the past, and has in my mind and life which you will learn about when you are much older.

As time and history proceed forward, I hope that this change will be a positive one for you and your future. I am stunned that when I think, if he serves 2 terms, that Connor would be almost 15 and Brody would be 13 when a new president is elected. I wonder what it will be like for you to grow up in this time and wonder what history you will live in your lifetime here on earth. I pray that the ruler of this country guide it well, but more important to me is that the Ruler and Creator of the universe be real in your lives and guide you personally.

I love you,
Mom

Hiding in Plain Sight

On Friday night, Halloween, we decided to travel to a church that we have attended a few times called Court Street Christian Church. They were having a carnival and it seemed a way to keep up with what we were used to and the boys were very excited. So, we were gathering our things and getting ready for some fun and then Connor realized that he couldn't find his Spiderman mask. He really has no idea about Spiderman, never seeing him in a movie or cartoon, but he caught on that he needed the mask to truly pull this costume off. I kid you not, 3 adults (my mom was in town) and both kids searched the house frantically looking in places knowing that there is no chance at all for it to be there. As the minutes ticked off the clock, the tears started to fall at the thought of going with out it. We were all completely astounded how something you just had 3 minutes earlier could vanish. Connor said he didn't leave the living room and yet we looked all over the house even upstairs. The room we didn't look was the room I was actually sitting in when he asked me to help him find it. As we were walking out the door, there it was, literally out in the open on a rug hiding in plain sight. I did not think that phrase possible until now. The last time we lost something (Brody's must beloved Sheepie) daddy found him tucked away in a clothes drawer!

So, we wiped off the tears, threw on the mask and loaded up. It turned out to be a pretty fun night and my little Blue Spiderman and Monkey had a great time!

Daddy also pulled off some pretty amazing pumpkins!!

More Good Gifts! Way to go Daddy!

He managed to put into a pumpkin their two favorite things...

a lamb for Brody and a football for Connor!

Now, if I could just stay out of the candy!