This is my attempt to journal and capture our every day lives and memories, and to share our lives with our friends and family. It is a place for me to document my journey through life and those that travel with me.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Chocolate Anyone?
So, here I am day 3 and I'm still here! I haven't freaked out to much, and I am doing much better than I thought I would. I just have to say, thank you God for licorice! (after about an hour in the store trying to find something that would satisfy my after meal sweet tooth!)
I just feel sacrifice is hard for me and that is why I wanted to take part in this. It is a small thing but hopefully I will get better each year and go deeper into what it is all about. Right now I'm on the surface and that's OK, we have to start somewhere!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
We Can't Be Good at EVERYTHING!
Me...."Connor, does anyone at church ask about your little hand"
Connor..."nope"
Me..."That's interesting"(or something like that, I just blew it off since he said no then about a minute later...)
Connor...."But, that's because I hide it under the table, and only put it on the table if I need to hold my paper."
Ok, the rest of the conversation is a little blurry because I was trying not to over react and just soak in the information. After all he didn't seem the least bit upset, and I don't want to make a big deal about it with him or make him feel bad. I just told him that he is unique and special and I'm sure God gave me some wonderful motherly words at the time. The truth is I think that Connor feels pretty confident in who he is, so I didn't want to take that one remark and negate how I think he is doing. I started thinking about I myself do things to "hide" the way they really are especially when it comes to my appearance. For instance; the hair color, the eye cream, and the make up just for starters.
I initiated the conversation because I noticed some girls in a homeschool group "staring" for lack of a better word. I didn't feel he noticed it, but it bothered me, only because I didn't feel comfortable talking to them yet. I'm in new territory here and trying to figure out how to handle it. Back home in California, if someone said something I usually knew the parents and the kid to just talk it out. It's funny how friends that Connor had sometimes took years to even notice! So, I'm just finding my way here....
Also, this was a tough week at school. To understand this, you have to know Connor. He has been good at almost everything he has tried his whole 7 years on this earth! Things come easy to him in especially in school and even in athletic areas and games. I think the monkey bars has been one of his biggest challenges so far. As a matter of fact, just the past couple of weeks he has discovered a love for cup stacking. He had to spend some extra time figuring out a way to do it with his left hand, but by golly..he did it...AND he has continues to shave time off his best time each day!
I have even taken a few months off of our normal curriculum just to give him some time to focus on this. We made a cool notebook, and picked out different colored pens for each stage and even a cool mechanical pencil for the final draft! The truth is and my whole point of this blog is that I truly don't expect him to be good at everything, what has been tough is that he didn't want to keep trying. He wanted to give up and he was OK with a lot less than his best effort. I don't want to be a parent that hold unrealistic expectations of their kids. I think it is crazy to want a child to bring home perfect "grades" in everything, that is alot of pressure! What I am focusing on is perseverance when it is hard and I can't pass this opportunity to instill some in him! I didn't know how hard to push him and there were times where I wanted to just let it go, but I feel like this is a very important thing for Connor to learn. Part of the trouble is that he is so logical. I picked what I thought would be a fun assignment when I chose...."If I found a magic wand..." Let me give you the gist of Connor's story....
I found a magic wand at the park playing football and I took it home and put it up as a decoration in my room.
Now that is fun, huh??? I had to really pull things out of him here because he kept saying things like, "magic wands aren't real" and "only God could do that." True, but we are trying to get out of the box here! We actually took two weeks to finish this assignment, and even shed some tears! It is so neat to see him proud of what he accomplished and that he saw it through to the end is so rewarding to me as his mom and teacher! He did something that was hard and the real lesson here earns a high mark to his character! So, I wanted to share it...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Big Bikes and Little Lambs
2005 - Connor's 4th Birthday!
2009 - 7 Years Old!
After getting the bike, we went to a new friend's house where they have 2 sheep and a donkey! They just bred their sheep and have 4 new lambs and were kind enough to have us over to see up close. Brody was excited and we asked a lot of questions and learned a lot about taking care of sheep. The girls, Kiernan and Suzanna, show in 4-H with sheep and rabbits! They were a wealth of information and Brody's biggest question was..."Do you have to pick up the poop?" It was so kind of them to have us over and we were so grateful!
So, he learned that if you have a pasture you don't have to always pick it up, like you do a dog, but when they are in the barn you do all the time. He says he wants a fenced pasture for sure to make that job easier! Maybe one day we will!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Field Trip to OSU - 2 in 1
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Thursday, February 12, 2009
One Lone Entry
Today, I'm grateful I'm not Abby King.
I hate myself for saying it, but it is so true it stings. I got an e-mail from a member of the church we have been attending that led me to a site with an update from her that broke my heart. Abby has been leading the bible study that I have been attending and Darian is in Sunday school with Connor. Today she wrote this entry....
It is with a heavy heart that I give you the most recent news...It has been confirmed with an xray and CT scan that Darian's cancer is back. One of Darian's lungs has a large mass on it, and it is leaking fluid. The other lung has 4-5 large masses on it and several little ones.Tomorrow (Friday) Darian will be sedated and go in for a Bone Scan to see all the places where the Cancer has spread. After we see all the places the cancer has spread we will decide what to do from there. During sedation they will also drain the fluid from his lungs and biopsy it.If the surgeons can operate on Darians lungs it would be very dangerous, and very risky...but more than likely they will be unable to operate. We will more than likely start on Comfort measures only tomorrow after the bone scan.Darian will more than likely have 1-3 months with us. Probably leaning toward the 1 month. I know this is very shocking to most of you. We are taking things one day at a time. I want you all to know that during this time, none of us can do anything wrong. Please know that we all sort this information and feel this information differently. No way is right or wrong. Just please know that you can approach me and talk to me.We serve a great God. I am amazed at the care we have received at Legacy, and the amount of love they have shown us. They couldn't have done a better job. Secondly, thank you for all your support during this journey. God has a plan for each of us, and I am so glad that I get the opportunity to help raise Darian and be his mommy.Your prayers are greatly appreciated, and I will keep you updated on how darian is doing.
I spent over an hour going through her online journal documenting this incredible journey that started just a year ago. Darian has been through chemo treatments and even partial amputation of one of his legs. She writes some amazing things and her faith is so solid! While my heart literally hurts for her and my eyes stream with tears for someone I hardly know, I can't help but be amazed at God's goodness and grateful for the glimpse she has shown me. I guess I can't help being grateful after all. I am grateful that she has found comfort in the arms of an all knowing and loving God. I'm amazed that anyone could survive that amount of pain without God. I couldn't answer tonight when Connor asked me why Darian got cancer, but I confidently told him that God is good and we can bank on that promise. We can pray. Tonight I hugged my boys a little longer and a little tighter and we prayed together for Darian and his family.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Nothing Like the Real Thing
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Remember the Reward
A couple of questions...a couple of themes.
I am noticing that over and over again I have written down..."Remember the Reward". As you move through these letters in Revelation to these 7 churchs, one way to process a lot of it is to keep the end in mind and to remember the reward of heaven. We are told to perserve through trials, not be swayed by tempations that aren't good for us, to hold fast to the truth, and remain loyal even when it might not be popular.
I have been thinking a lot about a question asked that I am ready to answer. What have you been procrastinating for God?
At first I thought nothing honestly then about 7 hours later..it hit me. I struggle with obedience if it causes me any form of discomfort. I realize this is really big when it comes to food. I have struggles with fasting. I truly feel God calling me to this, but realize I have a hard time telling myself no and am absolutely embarrased at the things I will come up to justify myself not going without or feeling the slightest hunger pain. Bryan, my friend Beth's husband has a good point..."to fast without praying is just starving yourself." Right now that is what I do on days I try, but I know God is using it to grow me and get my attention.
I have been contemplating participating in lent this year and this has been made so clear to me as I try hard to come with something that I won't miss to much if I pick a food. Pretty sad huh? Today, I am grateful for God's mercy and patience with me.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Things I've done to save money recently
I'm so proud of my husband, for remembering the picture for me!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Beloved Box
I decided recently that one way I could save money is to try and buy some things used. Well, let me tell you...I am not real good at it. Maybe because I don't have the true shopping gene, I don't know. Every time I saw what I wanted, it seemed I couldn't get it at the price I wanted or someone had beat me to it by 30 minutes, or it was the wrong edition. I realized after a good week on the internet that I can't do it for things I need now or real soon, that is way to stressful! I have to be more prepared and keep my eye on the next good bargain. Now, having said that I did end up finding a few things at good prices, just not items I need to start the 2nd semester with.
So, today...it showed up. My beloved box from Sonlight! I have to say I get a little giddy opening up and going through everything...it is a sickness I tell you. The whole world stopped while I eagerly put together our new history schedule and lined all the new books up so they are ready for the next few months of school! It is just so exciting. Now that I think about it, I should of scheduled a teacher prep day instead....but then I would of had to wait and that just can't happen! I am so impressed with Sonlight and excited by the books we will be diving into on Monday morning.
I told Bryan, that I will focus on selling it when I am done and save the money by getting some back! It is amazing how this stuff holds it retail value! I already sold two things that I finished with and was so excited. I also am going to try and get all of our read alouds from the library and hopefully I can work out the timing!
I just can't wait....I hope Connor and Brody are just as excited!