Thursday, February 26, 2009

We Can't Be Good at EVERYTHING!

I feel like this has been a tough and enlightening week with Connor. I have been thinking a lot about this little guy all week and it started on Monday at breakfast when we had this conversation...

Me...."Connor, does anyone at church ask about your little hand"
Me..."That's interesting"(or something like that, I just blew it off since he said no then about a minute later...)
Connor...."But, that's because I hide it under the table, and only put it on the table if I need to hold my paper."

Ok, the rest of the conversation is a little blurry because I was trying not to over react and just soak in the information. After all he didn't seem the least bit upset, and I don't want to make a big deal about it with him or make him feel bad. I just told him that he is unique and special and I'm sure God gave me some wonderful motherly words at the time. The truth is I think that Connor feels pretty confident in who he is, so I didn't want to take that one remark and negate how I think he is doing. I started thinking about I myself do things to "hide" the way they really are especially when it comes to my appearance. For instance; the hair color, the eye cream, and the make up just for starters.

I initiated the conversation because I noticed some girls in a homeschool group "staring" for lack of a better word. I didn't feel he noticed it, but it bothered me, only because I didn't feel comfortable talking to them yet. I'm in new territory here and trying to figure out how to handle it. Back home in California, if someone said something I usually knew the parents and the kid to just talk it out. It's funny how friends that Connor had sometimes took years to even notice! So, I'm just finding my way here....

Also, this was a tough week at school. To understand this, you have to know Connor. He has been good at almost everything he has tried his whole 7 years on this earth! Things come easy to him in especially in school and even in athletic areas and games. I think the monkey bars has been one of his biggest challenges so far. As a matter of fact, just the past couple of weeks he has discovered a love for cup stacking. He had to spend some extra time figuring out a way to do it with his left hand, but by golly..he did it...AND he has continues to shave time off his best time each day!
However....he hates creative writing!

I have even taken a few months off of our normal curriculum just to give him some time to focus on this. We made a cool notebook, and picked out different colored pens for each stage and even a cool mechanical pencil for the final draft! The truth is and my whole point of this blog is that I truly don't expect him to be good at everything, what has been tough is that he didn't want to keep trying. He wanted to give up and he was OK with a lot less than his best effort. I don't want to be a parent that hold unrealistic expectations of their kids. I think it is crazy to want a child to bring home perfect "grades" in everything, that is alot of pressure! What I am focusing on is perseverance when it is hard and I can't pass this opportunity to instill some in him! I didn't know how hard to push him and there were times where I wanted to just let it go, but I feel like this is a very important thing for Connor to learn. Part of the trouble is that he is so logical. I picked what I thought would be a fun assignment when I chose...."If I found a magic wand..." Let me give you the gist of Connor's story....

I found a magic wand at the park playing football and I took it home and put it up as a decoration in my room.

Now that is fun, huh??? I had to really pull things out of him here because he kept saying things like, "magic wands aren't real" and "only God could do that." True, but we are trying to get out of the box here! We actually took two weeks to finish this assignment, and even shed some tears! It is so neat to see him proud of what he accomplished and that he saw it through to the end is so rewarding to me as his mom and teacher! He did something that was hard and the real lesson here earns a high mark to his character! So, I wanted to share it...

When I found a Connor Doeren
I was looking for my football when I found a long magic wand! We were at Hillview Park. Daddy, Brody my brother, Jake and Mommy were with me. Daddy and I were throwing the football when I lost my ball. The wand was light yellow and black. It was about a foot, that's twelve inches, long. It said magic wand on the side. First, I was very surprised when I found the wand. When we got home I put a 3rd bed in our room, better lights in the schoolroom, and turned Jake into a 6 year old boy! We each got a new Webkin, Brody got a monkey and I got a gorilla, and our own computer to play the Webkin site on. Then the bed disappeared, Jake turned back into a dog, but the Webkins stayed, and the computer stayed. I put the wand up as a decoration in my room so I could remember the day I found the magic wand.


Teri said...

I like his story.
That was a LOT of information in one post for this little brain to absorb. It sounds like you're doing such a great job with your sons, and like you have very reasonable and healthy expectations. When it comes to working at things, I've always been one to give in easy. I am good at a lot of things, and therefore don't have to try in certain areas. Sadly, I've avoided the areas that don't come easy for me, and that isn't a good thing. SO I really liked reading about your struggles with this, especially the victory. I hope that by homeschooling, I'll be able to learn how to try harder so that I can pass the same thing on to my children.
LOVED the magic wand idea, and had to giggle at Connor's initial excuses about why he wasn't getting into the topic.

IE Mommy Blogger said...

I think you have so much inspiration in this probably don't even realize it. Connor is an amazing little boy, as is Brody. I'd love to post this as a guest post at The IE Mommy if you'd let me. It truly touched me.

Joanna said...

Thanks for sharing. I think Conner did an excellent job on his story and I LOVE that you work so hard to instill character and life long lessons in your teaching and parenting of your children. You are an inspiration to me. By the way I am one of those people that knew Conner for well over a year before I noticed his hand.

littlecbsmom said...

Teri - Yes, I agree it was a lot, my heart was just full and I was trying to process everything I was thinking! Plus it was late and I was without chocolate for 2 days already!

Christine - Sweet message, I would be honored!

Joanna - Thanks!

Ms. Julie's Place said...

Very nice story Connor!
Next time you want to try writing a story, try illustrating the story first. Sometimes it's easier to describe a picture on paper than it is to describe one in your head- at least for me anyway and a picture is worth a thousand words. Then sometimes I use a graphic organizer to help me plan and organize the story the picture is telling me. It starts with who did what, when and where.
Let me know and I'll post the form if you'd like.
I'll be praying for you with the chocolate. Mine is coffee and diet Dr. pepper!
God bless,